Babies and Fools

As of last night - details are sketchy as to everything but the date, the sex, and the name - my aunt is a grandmother and my grandma is a great grandma. Keith and Marcie Skelton are proud to announce the birth of their daughter, Haley on March 31, 2004... sometime in the evening I believe. I'm not sure if that's even the right spelling, but congrats are in order anyway.

We got school newspapers this morning. The front page had a story about our VP's new vehicle... she's famous for her golf cart, but she's upgrading to a tank. Another article discussed new open campus policy. Kids are going to ditch... why not let them? The sports page discussed the closing of the football field for more bungalows and the recent incident where a pole vaulter was impaled... including a picture. It was great! I knew it was a joke, but just for those slightly slow witted, when the paper was opened to the second page, there was a huge "APRIL FOOLS!" printed. Page three began the real newspaper. I wish our paper had thought of that. It was quite amusing.

I remember being in the fourth grade and my Girl Scout troop had just finished our first aide patch. We'd cut up sheets to make slings and I wore one to school. I told everyone I had fallen down the stairs. So one student wrote for me and it was great fun until recess, when I got tired of it, and put it away. The teacher was furious. I remember crying and crying when she yelled at me. I don't think she understood that's what you're supposed to do on April 1. Now that I think back about it, as a teacher, I would have expected a note from a parent to accompany a homemade sling.

But anyway, nothing tops Vuong and Ms. Barnes. I take credit for the whole thing. Vuong was one of those "too smart for his own good students" who got like a 1450 on the SAT, but couldn't sit in class long enough to pass. So one day, he was goofing off in English class and Ms. Barnes sent him outside for a while until he could behave himself. Instead, little guy that he was, he managed to climb on top of the locker bank and make fishy faces at the class through the window before she actually noticed him. For some reason, the class was mainly laughing, and she wasn't really mad. We began to discuss what to do with him. She didn't want to write a referral, but she did want him to stop disrupting the class. I, sitting in the front row, remarked, "Ms. Barnes, you do know that's it's April Fool's Day, don't you?"

I still remember the gleam in her eye as she pulled out the referral form and began to fill it out. She paused on her way out the door to collect herself and replaced her giddy amusement with abject disgust. She swung open the door and held the referral out to Vuong, who had climbed down from the lockers.

"Go!" She said. He tried to apologize and plead with her. The whole class watched, trying to keep a straight face. He was practically on his knees. "No," she demanded, looking away from him. "Just go!"

Vuong grabbed the referral and stomped toward the office. She closed the door, picked up the phone and told the secretary to say "April Fool's" and send him back.

Two minutes later we hear a scream coming down the hallway and Vuong threw himself against the door. Everyone laughed and we really didn't get any work done that day.

He got her back for it though... well, sort of. One of the last days of the school year, he and a friend or two were caught by the principal while saran wrapping her car. They were almost suspended. Instead they received several detentions. Ms. Barnes went into the detention room and demanded they serve the detention with her. Then she let them go.